On Monday, Maricopa County police officers arrested an Arizona man for allegedly trying to arrange a sexual liason with a dog. James Naylor, who is a married father, posted the following two ads on Craigslist: “Bottom Needs Hung Tops – M4M” and “Willing to Try Hung K9 4 Fun Too.”
That’s quite a leap, James.
The ads were posted over two months ago and authorities have spent the last several weeks undercover negotiating with Naylor. Police used a picture of a dog from a local animal shelter to lure Naylor to a nearby motel.
Ok, so where should we begin?
Let me start by saying this: I love this country for the sole reason that this is only the third creepiest story I’ve read this week. I’m reminded of an old George Carlin quote – “When you’re born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”
Let’s start with the first ad: “Bottom Needs Hung Tops – M4M.” Did you notice that he is looking for “topS” – as in, plural? Something tells me we aren’t dealing with a novice here. I’m sure he’s way past the point of tugging off to an old copy of Latin Inches while the wife and kids are at the grocery store in order to add a little sizzle into his dry and listless home life. Those days are long gone. Now it’s going to take a cavalcade of well-hung men-of-color to virtually collapse his rectal wall in order to satisfy his painfully lascivious sexual appetite, but…
…NOT even that is enough, which is why he felt the need to take it a step further with his second post: “Willing to Try Hung K9 4 Fun Too.”
Of course you are.
I love how he said that he’d be “willing” to do this – like he’s waiting for some dog-pimp to make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Quick question — do you think we would even know this guy’s name if he was a Top? I mean, if he wanted to do the penetrating, instead of being penetrated, he could simply snatch the neighbor’s Pomeranian in the dead of night, slide into the dog’s shithole a few hundred times, and then return the poor thing with no one the wiser.
However, since HE needs the animal to visit the deviant sexual act upon HIM, he probably had to contact an intermediary in order to get in touch with a canine with that type of training. I believe this is what led to his demise.
One last thing – too bad this fella doesn’t live in Florida. If you’re not aware, Florida has some of the most relaxed bestiality laws in the nation. Eric Antunes was arrested a few months ago for felating his girlfriend’s three-legged dog, but prosecutors ultimately had to drop the dog-rape charges due to an oral sex loophole in the statute — an analysis of which is beyond the scope of this article. I just wanted to point out that oral-genital contact with an animal is only frowned upon in Florida, but not necessarily illegal. Our pal Naylor might need to consider relocating to the Sunshine State.